Last time we had looked
at 5:21 – “submit
(Gr. hupotasso) to one another out of
reverence for Christ…”. The
essential reference point in this verse is Christ. Christ-centred submission
arises from obedience to the authority to the Word of God (because God says so).
The God who made the universe and the world, and everything in it, created us
also in His image as men and women. According to creation design He has ordered
us to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
The question therefore arises: How shall we submit to one
another out of reverence for Christ, particularly now in the matter of the various
relationships before us in 6:22 -6:4? In
particular, how does this work out in
terms of that primary of all relationships –
a husband and a wife?
We begin with a
fundamental observation
Our relationships flourish when we submit to God’s order and
design for living! We flourish when we recognise (intellectually and actually) that God has designed particular roles for men
and for women, for husbands and wives, for parents and children and for
societal relationships.
We are clearly facing a great challenge in this regard in our
modern society. A prevailing modern world view says that there are no specific roles / functional
differences between men and women. The buzz word is “gender equality”. If you ask an average modern man, “What is distinct about your masculinity?”, or “what
is your role as a husband?“ , or if
you ask an average woman, “What is unique about your femininity? , or “what is distinct about your role as a wife?”,
many
are simply at a loss to give an answer. Many people (incl. many professing Christians) are
confused about the proper roles of husband and wife. Understand then, that God
has written a law concerning marriage. It is embedded in Genesis Chapter 2: 18-25. Ignoring this law is like ignoring the
law of gravity. You cannot jump from a high building and defy the odds. Many experience unhealthy struggles and
breakdown in their marriage relationships, primarily because they are
ignorant or even defiant of God’s design.
I trust that you now see what follows in 5:21. After declaring that there is to be mutual
submission out of reverence of Christ, Paul devotes 12 verses to show us the
difference in the way a husband and wife submit to each other out of reverence
to Christ.
In the first place we see the wife’s distinctive role in
submitting to the headship of her husband. (5:22-24)
In the second place we see the husband‘s distinctive role in
the exercise of the loving headship of a Christ-like husband. (5:25-33)
To put that into practical language: I am submissive to my wife in that I exercise
that role for which God has called me as her God appointed head and in in loving her in a Christ-like fashion. She is submissive to me in the Lord who has
appointed me as her head. Christ is revered when we live like that! He gets glory from our marriage when we live like that, and instinctively we
know “ this is right” when we live like
that- because it is beautiful to
see a husband and wife living well
together.
We live well together when we observe creation design. According
to that creation design there is a distinction in which we serve each
other as men and women and that distinction is
explained in terms of Christ (the husband- the head) and the church (the
wife- the body). There are clear identities and clear roles. And they are not designed for competition but
for completion. The two personalities are one flesh. They are not two
individuals always battling to subdue each other. They are two people subdued
by Christ! [Incidentally this is also
the theme of Eph. 2:11-22; 3:6 in which Christ, through the gospel makes two divided people (Jews and gentiles) into one household (the church)].
Two identities. One purpose under God! Our society has a hard
time to think about such expressions of unity, because sin has made us
intensely selfish and self- absorbed. And yet God’s design is that two distinct
people should exhibit one purpose: marriage! And marriage is a picture of Christ and his church.
Think about our text again: Christ is Christ. The church is not Christ. The church is the church, and to obscure/ deny
the distinctions/roles between Christ (who is uniquely the head), and the
church (uniquely the body) would be confusing. This is precisely so also in a husband/ wife relationship:
the husband is the husband, and the wife is the wife. The wife is not the husband and the husband
is not the wife! And to ignore these vital distinctions and roles is to sow
confusion into this relationship. This is what is happening in our modern
society. Since we are now doing away with creation design (through embracing gender fluidity) confusion
reigns. Increasingly biological men do
not know whether they are men. Biological women do not know whether they are
women. Dismantle God’s order and you will eventually dismantle society.
It is important to maintain a biblical worldview to preserve not only society, but to preserve the biblical view of marriage. I want to focus now on the husband’s distinctive role.
Next
week we want to think about the wife’s distinctive role.
THE HUSBAND’S
DISTINCTIVE ROLE
He is the head[1].
Headship means “leadership“. Eph. 1:21-23 makes this very
clear. In Creation design, the husband
takes his cue from Christ, who is said
to be “far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but
also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the
fullness of him who fills all in all.”
It is clear that Christ’s headship
implies his leadership over the church. So
too, by divine design God has made men to lead their wives and families! There is nothing sinister or threatening
about that. It is God’s idea, not ours.
How do husbands exercise their headship in leading
their wives / families?
1.
By diligently pursuing his own
personal relationship with God. A husband in God’s
hands in a safe leader. No man will be a
healthy leader in his home, if he does not spend time with Christ and His Word,
learning to be submissive to Christ. Without getting to know Christ, he will be
tempted to follow his own imagination and even false and even abusive
leadership patterns. Learning
from Christ makes a husband kind and considerate.
2.
By loving their wives. By giving
themselves up for their wives. (5:25,28,33). This means that he puts her first in terms of all other earthly human relationships. Love
her more than you own mother and father (5:31).
The love for her is all embracing: physical, emotional, spiritual. Love her as
you love your own body. The quality of that love is expressed in terms of 1
Cor. 13:4-7.
3.
Sanctify her… by the washing of water
with the word. Sanctification is the process of unlearning sin and growing in the image and likeness of Jesus. Husbands,
help your wives to flourish spiritually. Encourage your wife to pursue her own close
relationship with Christ. Your spiritual life can never substitute for
hers. The holy women of 1 Peter 3:5 who were submissive to
their husbands are described by Peter as women who "put their hope in God". A husband who encourages his
wife to pursue a relationship with Jesus will be safe with her. Husbands and fathers – it is our responsibility to lead in worship at home. Sadly many men hand over the
spiritual leadership of the home to their wives, because they are lazy or
because she may in fact be spiritually stronger. Men! Grow
up! Humble yourself before God. Train yourself
for spiritual growth. Become a godly man. Lead! In so doing you will create an atmosphere for spiritual
prosperity in the home.
4.
Leave your wife in a better shape
than you have found her : …”so that he might present the church to himself in splendour,
without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.”(5:27) At the end of your lives you should have a more beautiful woman than the one you have first found. This is because you have
created an enabling environment through
your submissive obedience to Christ – an environment where your wife can flourish like a fruitful vine and your children like olive shoots
around you table (Psalm 128:3-4).
When a husband shows this sort of Christ-like leadership, and when he has the courage to do these things, then God is glorified, and Christ is
exalted and his wife
will rejoice and his children will rise up and call him blessed. Indeed, it is easy to submit to and work with such a man for the glory of God.
No comments:
Post a Comment